Dialogue is about discovering one’s own needs and the needs of others. Most people aren’t aware that the statements they make have more than one side to them.
The statement “I want you to listen to me” covers more than just a need to be listened to. The statement in itself is called a position. But our aims in the dialogue process is to discover a person’s interest, which can be explained as the goal or what he desires to achieve. To find this we need to discover the underlying need that drives the interest.
For many people discovering the needs behind their positions can be hard, something that can be caused by many different things, such as the fact that we do not ponder our positions in our daily life, or because we have become accustomed to the positions we promote. But needs are universal, which is a wonderful thing, as it makes it possible for every human being to recognize needs in himself and in others. By addressing them we are able to open an inner door, which can give us the motivation to understand the person we’re talking to – even when disagreements persist. [Read more…]